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The beginning 

Okay so recently I have been going through a lot in my life. It has been almost unbearable. So one of my friends suggested me to start a blog, not for the purpose of making money out of it or becoming professional in it. The only reason I am doing this to vent out all the negative things I have in mind. I do not have many friends and writing is the strongest way to communicate your thoughts. So here I am, in the hope of finding some peace of mind ✌ 

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He gave her strength 

It’s a matter of luck in today’s time to find a person who wants good for you. Who always wants to see you happy and glowing. The person who always tries to push you out of your comfort zone, someone who knows the real potential you and leaves no stone unturned in making you a better person.

She considered herself to be the luckiest person to have that one constant by her side always. She could always share all her insecurities all her fears with him without the fear of being judged.

She always wanted someone who would listen to her and understand her. She always had so much to say, so much to express, so much to vent out. But every person around her was just a selfish and mean piece of flesh and bones with no heart. Call it her bad luck or fate, but she has always been surrounded by such kind of people.

All through these years she has always kept her insecurities caged within herself because people who make fun are more than the people who actually care. She has always had a longing for that one genuine caring heart and that understanding soul. Whenever she tried putting her trust on someone, she was let down terrible. So terribly that that she could not trust anyone anymore.

And then one day she met HIM. He was just the kind of person she always wanted. He had come in her life to let her live her happiness, again.

❤️

Just like that 

Sometimes, life sends so many problems to you at the sametime that you start feeling worthless. No matter how strong a person you are, you are bound to feel like a weakling at times. 

You are so much engrossed in your own problems that you don’t realise you may come out to be as a annoying person to some people. Obviously no one would like a negative person around them 24×7 no matter how close you are with them. These are the same people who are your strength. Who motivate you yo be a better person. Who always want the good for you. But there’s something that’s deeply stuck in your heart somewhere that doesn’t lets you live peacefully. A

You want to be happy, you want to live a happy life but that little pain in your heart always stops you. The pain given by your closed ones, intentionally or unintentionally, doesn’t let you live peacefully. You just can’t accept what is going on in your life, you want to change it by all means but you can’t. Life makes you so helpless that nothing you do makes you smile. At a point of time you have to keep on smiling just for the sake of it. Over thinking is not something you enjoy, but some situations make you so helpless that you just can’t do anything. 

He came as a star in her darkest nights

She was living a life just for the sake of it. She was so much in guilt of letting him take her for granted that she couldn’t face herself. She had lost her self confidence, her zeal for life. She was in a state of shock that how did she let him mistreat her all these years. She had become quite, quite and numb. The feeling you get when you lose someone very precious? That’s exactly what she was feeling, but here the person she lost was herself! She missed her self.

3 months after her breakup, while scrolling down the notifications on her Instagram, she stopped at a comment from a guy. The comment was a usual one “nice picture”. She saw, replied and then forgot about it because it was just a comment and guys these days leave no stone unturned in pleasing any random girl.

The guy kept liking all her previous pictures and commenting on them because he apparently found her CUTE! but wasn’t it something what every guy today does? So keeping this in mind, she ignored him and his advances. One of the major reason for her ignorance was also her terrible experience in past. She had suffered so much that she had lost all the trust she had on every other guy.

After almost a month of this exchanges of compliments and acknowledgements, he finally texted her HI! she at first thought of ignoring it too, because you just can’t trust anyone on social media these days. But destiny had started its plan of sending her on her happy mode again.

Just because she was completely lonely and devastated at that point of time, she replied to his HI jus for the sake of it! Although she sort of hated every guy, but just in the attempt of coming out of that state of mind, she replied.

That very moment, the moment she replied, was going to be a moment to cherish and be grateful for but little did she know that. She was unaware of the plans of destiny.

Her life was going to change for good.

She was going to get her self confidence back.

She was going to get her happiness and smile back

Her life was going to be a happy place, place where she always wanted to be.

She was going to get away from all those tears and bad memories.

She was soon going to feel sunshine again in her gloomy life.

But, little did she know that!

☺️❤️

Every ending has a beginning 

She had just had a horrible break up. She had been in that relationship for past 5 years, which in starting was nothing short of a typical romantic movie which gradually turned into a nightmare. She had never thought that the guy to him she gave her everything will turn out to be so monstrous.

It was a horrible break up not because she loved him madly. It was horrible because she couldn’t believe she had let someone destroy her mentally and emotionally all through these 5 years in the name of love. The 5 years were nothing less than a torture. She had been abused several times, she was ridiculed in the middle of a road, she was physically tortured at a public place. The worst abuses were hurled at her in a very casual manner just because he was angry! Yes, that was the reason he gave for his monstrous behaviour while apologizing. He apologised in such a convincing manner all the time that she forgave him every time . She actually had so much blind trust on him that she couldn’t see his real character. He started controlling her life, who would she talk to, who would she go out with, what time should she use facebook, whose friend request should she accept. But she was such an emotional  idiot that she just couldn’t resist coming back to him after all his deeds.

But the moment she realised that she had been cheating her parents, lying to them all these years just for such a pervert, she decided to put a break on it. It was a very difficult and also easy decision for her. Easy because she had finally realised what kind of a jerk he was, and difficult because obviously her feelings were genuine.

But she gathered all her courage and decided to let go of him after all the hell years. She was happy that she was finally out of that nightmare, but in this process she had lost her real self somewhere. She had lost her self confidence. She had lost her usual happy go lucky, talkative, chirpy, tom boy character. She was mentally blank and emotionally broken. All this was only because of the guilt that she let her self treated like that, she had no regrets of letting go of that person.

She had lost herself somewhere.

But little did she know, that it will prove to be a blessing in disguise. God never does anything wrong to his children and this was about to get proven. She was just going to get her lost happiness and smile back, in a very unpredictable manner ☺️

Broken

And then suddenly i feel a little broken inside. Or should i say totally broken.

All my life i have tried making my parents happy, sacrificed on my studies just because they wanted me to be a engineer despite of the fact that becoming a doctor was my dream since childhood.

Still i compromised and agreed to their wish. I kept adjusting all through the 4 years of engineering. All this time my heart never wanted me to do so but because i love my parents so much, i can not say no to them. All these 4 years i have been totally lost, unable to understand where is my life heading. That was the first time a broke a little from inside. I had so many dreams for mu future, i wanted to make my parents happy, but in all this procese i left my happiness far behind.

I never made my parents realise that i am not happy with my life. And today here I am, in love with a nice decent guy. And again I am not allowed to make a choice here just because he is from some other caste. This is probably the point from where i just can’t compromise with my life anymore.

From the last 5 months i have been trying to convince my parents to let me marry him. He iw exactly the type of guy they will want me to spend my life with. I can see a happy future with him. I have been with him since past 2 years and trust me I have never been happier before.

But my parents are stuck on what society would say. I just do not understand what does society has to do with my life choices!! I feel so miserable for the fact that my parents are trying to convince me to sacrifice once again just for the society sake.

This guy is a gem. Its hard to find a genuine guy like him in today’s world and i consider myself completely lucky to have found him. But my parents are just not ready to see beyond the caste.

I feel a bit incomplete. Last 5 months have been mentally and emotionally destroying for me for 2 facts, 1 being that my parents are just not able to see my happiness because of the fear of society anf 2nd being that my heart is not at all accepting what all is happening.

I am totally lost now. I just do not want my love story to fade away in the crowd just like many other just because of the fact that my parents are keeping society before me.

This is killing me! 

Parents Obsession with the societal norms on intercaste marriage 

No matter how progressive you become, society norms don’t really let you live!

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life. You have to spend almost more than half of your life with someone. Then why the decision of your life is taken according to society norms? Why aren’t you allowed to marry someone you love!

Why is it so difficult for parents to understand that the society that they are so afraid of will anyways say hundred of things, be it arrange marriage or love marriage! People will always find out ways to point out your flaws and laugh at you! Then why worry about this society?

Listen to your child for once please! Try to understand their state of mind what they go through when they are made to sacrifice their happiness just for you. Your child may marry someone you chose, but that marriage has total chances of f being disastrous! Your child will anyhow end up in a bad marriage.

There will always be that little emotional scar in the child’s heart that their parent had put the society on the front food when their child needed them the most! He kept pleading and crying but all that the parents were worried about that society will not let us live!

And who takes the guarantee that even in arrange marriage if a problem comes, society will not speak a word or not make a joke of you!

Society considers it is its birth right to interfere in everyone’s business. But if the parents show trust in their child and stand up boldly, who got the guts to say anything?

I’m your child, you have given me birth! You have taken care of me all these years, you have seen all my ups and downs. You have seen me grow,  you have seen me fall. You have seen my smile you have seen my cry. You have always made sure that I’m happy. You have always worked so hard just to make sure that i do not have to live in lack of anything. You have never made any stone left unturned just to make sure that i am happy. You have always given me things more than your capacity and i shall forever be indebted for it!

Then why my marriage suddenly becomes a concern for society. Why the biggest decision of my life is taken under the influence of society!

If I am happy you will be happy, if i will cry you will be more sad than me! Then why listen to society and give your child a scar of lifetime?